Forgiveness
by Anonymous Insanity
Summary: One-Shot, Gilbert reminisce about the past, present and while going to Moscow he sees a rare sight and slowly something akin to forgiveness creeps down his chest.


Title: Forgiveness

Pairing: IvaGil

Summary: One-Shot, Gilbert reminisce about the past, present and while going to Moscow he sees a rare sight and slowly something akin to forgiveness creeps down his chest.

Sadness is an emotion Gilbert found acquainted with everyday ever since he was sent to live with Ivan.

He was constantly haunted by dreams of their defeat and the smell of blood and death was nauseating that he would wake up in a sweat and rush to the bathroom, barely reaching the porcelain toilet in time for him to vomit all that he ate that night.

And every morning he would curse his luck and the Russian bastard that would cruelly smile down at him as if he were the child and not the other way around.

Though sometimes he would witness something quite peculiar about the cold-hearted fool.

His poison violet eyes would hold a spark of concern that would shock him silent and merely nod his head as said owner of violet eyes walk pass him.

It was truly confusing but he was grateful for those days at least they were better than other days…

He cringed at the thought of those pain ridden days where he would be beaten daily and the sting of whip against his skin is merciful than any other punishment made by the Russian man.

He sighed and took a quick cold bath, for he still needed to finish his paperwork before delivering them to Ivan and then work on the Russian's share. Since he was made Kaliningrad he would need to work on half of Ivan's workload.

It was unfair but that was how the system worked and it was not as if he had anything better to do here. He was already separated from his brother for far too long that he could not even remember the days where they used to live together.

It was saddening and he brushed aside these depressing thoughts opting for better, lighter, happy ones. He hummed a soft tune as he made his way over to his dresser and took out the black uniform of a Kaliningrad official.

His eyes strayed to his right where an Iron cross hung, dust collecting on its surface from years of unused and his lips curved down in a frown.

'Mein Konig'

He gently touched the surface letting his thoughts ran towards his memories with his precious king of past.

His precious Frederick…

His most beloved king.

Then he pulled his fingers away and took hold of his uniform and slowly put them on and shut the wardrobe close.

Humming another soft tune, he turned his back to the dresser and left, the soft click of the door shutting was the only sound heard and he left.

Moscow was nothing like his precious Berlin.

Moscow was cold, the streets barely filled with people as it was too cold for anyone at all to walk these frozen snow filled streets.

So unlike his Berlin…

He sighed, his breath coming out in soft puffs of air and he wrapped the checkered scarf around his neck tighter, his lips form a frown. He opted for the warmer climate of Berlin than Moscow any day but he had business here.

He gently rapped his knuckles against the wooden door before him and not long after the door opened to reveal Torris behind with a soft worry filled smile. "Ah, Gilbert! Here come inside, Mr. Ivan has been waiting for you." He took Gilbert's coat and scarf as the other straightened his uniform and headed straight for Ivan's study with a nod.

Torris sighed he knew that Gilbert hated traveling here, but since he was now under Ivan's hold he would have to do whatever the man asked and he shook his head. Feeling empathy for the enclave. He knew how hard it was to follow the unpredictable Ivan Braginski, but unlike Gilbert, he is still a country. Gilbert was no longer a nation but an enclave, a lower being, he was treated far worse than Torris would ever be. For that Torris had a sense of relief but worry for the enclave.

He always did worry for others more than his well being even if those others never asked him for help. He just felt that he should.

A smile graced his lips as he hung Gilbert's coat and scarf before going to the kitchen to prepare something for Mr. Ivan and Gilbert.

Gilbert hated Ivan, that is an understatement but that doesn't mean he doesn't care if the other was sick or anything, he might not show it but he means well.

Some days he would arrive to find a troubled Ivan asking for advice and he would give it, albeit in a nonchalant indifferent and roundabout way but he would still give it nonetheless.

Some days he would arrive to find the blonde sick with fever and stressed beyond belief. He would only sit beside the feverish nation and took hold of all of said nation's unfinished workload so the Russian can rest. Then he would gently tuck Ivan's blankets, give a soft kiss to his forehead and leave.

He knew that what Ivan sought after were companions, friends that would care for him and understand his feelings of loneliness. But what Ivan did to gain friends was wrong and he just needed someone to point him the right way.

Torris tried but he was too concerned for other's safety to try, Raivis was scared shitless, Eduard felt the same while Poland just felt apathy.

He tried to understand Ivan, he really did.

But sometimes Ivan would just piss him off that he could barely take it anymore and snap, in return receiving a good beating or two for his disobedience or misconduct.

It was hard, really hard to try and befriend the beast of a nation but at least he tried.

He sighed and knocked three times then waited for Ivan's 'Come in' before doing so. The sight that greeted him shocked him enough to paralyze him.

Ivan was drunk that was sometimes normal, he was also stressed, that too was normal…

But the tears running down his cheeks were not.

Gilbert couldn't even say anything and he stood there being an utter idiot, staring into teary wet violet eyes.

"Oh, Gilbert, you're here for work yes?" The soft childish tone of voice never changed but there was an underlying tone of sadness there that Gilbert could not understand.

Usually Ivan would hide anything remotely vulnerable to anyone but… why now?

Why him?

"J-ja… I cam to take your share home so if you would kindly give them to-"

"Zaichik."

He stopped abruptly, confusion written plainly on his face.

"Come here." Ivan quirked his fingers, wanting Gilbert to follow his order… and so Gilbert did.

"Ivan what-"

He was stopped again, this time by a finger to his lips and his eyes widened.

"Shh, I just want to hold you." And he was enveloped into a warm embrace.

He was surprised; shocked really, that Ivan hugged him. Heck he never even knew that Ivan's body was this warm! Being cold-hearted and all. But he allowed himself to relax and let the other embrace him.

Obviously Ivan needed comfort, this was just normal… right?

When Ivan showed no signs of releasing him he hesitantly tapped the Russia's back. "Uhm, I-Ivan? What's wro-"

"I'm sorry, zaichik."

"Wha?"

"I said I'm sorry… I know I haven't been treating you well…" Ivan whispered as he held Gilbert tighter against his chest and buried his face against those soft silver locks.

Gilbert was stunned, an apology coming from the beast? It was very rare indeed and unheard of! But he slowly let a small smile grace his lips and brought his hands up to hug Ivan back, burying his head against the strong chest.

"Its okay… I understand, you're just lonely and needed someone that would help you." He whispered back, feeling a warm sensation spread across his chest.

Ivan held him back at arms length with a beaming smile, his tears gone in an instant and his eyes sparkled like amethysts. "Yaa~ Thank you Gilbert!" He immediately hugged the other again, enveloping his strong arms around the albino's petite waist and bringing him closer to him.

Gilbert chuckled and pat the soft blonde locks with his right hand and whispered a 'your welcome' to Ivan's ears.

He didn't know why he forgave Ivan for his cruel actions but somehow he just wanted to help Ivan, even if the hate he felt never left him, at least his care for the young nation never wavered. And he hoped that someday, Ivan would truly realize and care back for them.

'Because I will never forgive you and kick your ass if you dare go back being a heartless bastard again.'

End…

N/A: Ahh… another fic… but tis be a one-shot so don't worry! I will still continue my other fics… just… wait for it… I'm still waiting for my inspiration to come back… and I think this fic of mine was kinda pointless and I know it sucks… big time… maybe writing fics to pent out your frustration isn't a good idea… the ending sounded sappy too! D: Anyways I hope someone will like even if its sucky… and stupid but hope you enjoy!


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